B – Boundaries
Boundaries are a way of putting up a
wall (so to say) to hold someone or something back, so as not to infringe on
your space or time. How many of you right now are reading this and thinking, I
don’t do that. I don’t let anyone over power me and take up all my time. Now
think about that. How many times have you let someone spill all his or her
drama on you? You may be thinking that you are being nice and lending an ear
for them to vent, but how often does this happen? If it is always then you need
to put up some boundaries. How many of you have and continue to always help
someone out of a jam? Maybe they just need a few dollars (again), a ride
somewhere, always asking you for help, and taking you away from what you need
to do. Then it is time to learn to set some boundaries.
In most cases you are doing so much
for everyone else and ignoring what you need done. Have you ever noticed that
the favor is not returned? This makes you unbalanced. All giving and no
receiving. One-way of putting up boundaries is learning a simple word…NO. The
reason people don’t say no is because the guilt factor comes in and they feel
bad. This is because you have a heart. Not to say that those who infringe on
you don’t have a heart, but they spend more time working with the ego, which
allows them to be more selfish and puts their needs ahead of others. Sometimes
these people are so stuck in drama or grief that they don’t even notice their
behavior. Then of course you do have those who know what they are doing and
just don’t care. They feel the world owes them something.
There is nothing wrong with saying
no. As children we all heard our parents say no many times. We probably didn’t
like it very much but later understood why they did. So why not bring that into
our adulthood. When someone is constantly pouring out their drama to you, you
have to stop them and say no more, please. I care for you as a person but I ask
you to stop pouring your drama over me. They probably won’t like it but if they
are a true friend they will understand. If they don’t understand then maybe it
is time to let them go.
